Given that I have struck up an ongoing relationship with the demented cockerel that haunts me every night before I go to sleep with the sure knowledge that I will be woken in the early hours of the morning, I have now named him ‘Ronnie’. To date, I haven’t yet spotted the bird and I guess the likelihood of so doing is remote but should I have the pleasure of such an encounter I cannot hold myself responsible for my actions.

Having watched some tennis from Roland Garros and flicked in and out of the rain at Lords ( all between 05h00 and 08h00), I went and had some breakfast, cracked the greater majority of a cryptic crossword and rounded up a few of us who wanted to watch the Super 14 final. This was going to be shown at another hotel where the other half of our crew were staying including Mani (camera 10, super slo-mo) who is obviously a complete propeller head and knew how to channel some the unavailable feed through his computer into a projector and onto the wall of the conference room in his hotel. (More cyber space stuff that I fail to understand but am admirable of.)

The result was an audience of about 30 including South African cricketers, wives and girlfriends and members of the crew who are bringing this series to you. I would guess that the support was something like 4 Bulls v 20 Stormers with 6 neutrals who really didn’t give a damn, but it helped pass the time of day. Needless to say at the end of the game 20 of us thought that the referee had a nightmare, 4 thought he was great and the same 6 couldn’t give a damn.

It is now conveniently 13h00 local time and a good time to celebrate or drown one’s sorrows. The team went back to their hotel because I am sure they had an afternoon practice, whilst the rest of us sought out a convenient spot for a burger and a beer. The Garage was the popular choice which is a justifiable name for a pub/restaurant in the middle of town and which has become the watering hole for all and sundry. All in all, a pretty good way to spend the day off.

Tonight, I am reliably informed by the management of the hotel, there will be a ‘Fashion Scenic Show’ in the Carib bar (the only bar in the hotel) from 8.00pm to midnight. I am sure that by then the models will be absolutely exhausted after 4 hours of walking up and down a somewhat dodgy looking platform whilst showing off the latest fashions.

I am also informed by the management that tomorrow night the Anchorage Hotel will be hosting the ‘Swinging Stars’ band from 6.00pm until 11.30. Who needs Ronnie the rooster?!!